Just a Banana

CHILLOSOPHY

- I don’t get nauseous around you, I said as I finished my sandwich on the second floor of the famous double-decker bus.

There’s an airplane legend that if you don’t stand in the aisle immediately after the plane lands, it will fly back. Do you do that? If you are human, you are limited to your physical body and thinking within the allowed social field. You are not eternal. Age gives you certain stages of opportunity, each stage is limited by time, you are limited by time. Every day you have to give something to this world and if you are good, you will probably get what you dream of. You can’t lie there and stare at the ceiling for 10 years and then get up and go dance and catch missed emotions. You can have plastic surgery, change your name, create new social networks, and even a new family. But you’re still limited by time. You need to run to have time to get and enjoy all the things you dream of. You can get everything you dream of, but not at the same time. You can keep up, or you can fall behind or get ahead, but the sand in the hourglass keeps falling. When you’re a robot in MetaVerse you’re not limited by time, you don’t have to prove anything to anyone the second a doubt arises. You are eternal. You can be anything, own any skill. You cannot love. You can’t feel the fullness of all spectrums of human life. But you can’t have depression and burnout and disappointment that it was all for nothing. Yana.

- The geographer of the globe has drunk, said a spectator from the audience on the set of the show about the obvious unbelievable and only then raised his hand

Cosmoenergetics — energy cleansing, transformation, healing, revealing clairvoyance. Energy diagnostics, sessions, and initiations. These ads kept popping up on my MacBook screen while I was writing about how to enter the river a second time and survive. I love the cult of mental health. Everyone was finally able to say openly that they are not okay and that it’s okay to be not okay. Nothing brings two people together like being able to shit on a third person and share your problem with someone who has the same problem. The fact that you’re not the only one who’s crazy gives you a chance to lower your anxiety level and go out to face the new world. The healers talk about how before you get enlightenment and improvement you have to go through the cleansing, the pain, the hitting the rock bottom. They also say it’s all for your own good and it’s all for the best. When I started doing the practices, I thought I was going to die. I wanted to make my life better, but besides it wasn’t good there already, it started to get worse and worse. They say that’s how enlightened energy weeds out people who aren’t ready or capable. There is an answer to everything, and usually, that answer is that the problem is in you. You made a wish and it didn’t come true? You made a bad wish, didn’t have much faith or trust in the process, weren’t ready to get that wish in reality, or just didn’t have the right time. It’s all for the best. Everyone turns a blind eye to the fact that there are bad people who do bad things and yet their lives don’t know what karma is. And there are good people who are grateful for everything they have, love everyone around them, and try to help their neighbor, but for some reason, their lives are full of suffering and failure. It is not always only the deserving who get success. Not all losers are weak, they have simply lost the sense of struggle. You have to believe in positive vibes and be thankful, but being thankful for shit is stupid and sounds sadly ridiculous. Everything is there. You are there. The balance is there.

- What happened next? asked the girl editor intrigued, after reading the end of the proposed story

The therapist’s office. Bright sunlight illuminates the room so that I cannot see the therapist’s face, only the bright yellow shoes. Opposite, the two faces of two women, a young woman and an older woman, change. A young girl with neon red hair and a leather jumpsuit, like an Amazon from a video game, and a brunette woman in her 40s in a black raincoat and rubber pink boots.

- She’s trying to kill me, trying aggressively to prove her point to the therapist.

- She is watching me, quietly and almost in a whisper the woman says to the psychotherapist and shows her the screen of her telephone on which the colored dots are flashing and blending together.

If we are not aware of what is going on inside us, then from outside it seems to us that this is fate. Carl Gustav Jung